Puttering through life

Bedtime with my lil bug is the best part of the day. Books have been read, lights are out and she asks me to snuggle with her for "let me count first,one, two, three...eleven. Oh that is too much, so ten minutes". Now snuggle time is not necessarily filled with sweet, endearing cuddles. It usually starts out with a litany of words. This is the time she rewinds her mind, spills her little heart out and figures out her next day. It is a great time to find out how she feels about things and what is bothering her. I often have to cut her off with a stern "okay we only have 5 minutes left". This is usually followed by kisses (now don't kiss me mom, I'm going to kiss you on the forehead)and huggies. Then all of a sudden she stops, she often puts her wee face directly into mine, flings her arm around my neck or uses my arm as a snuggle toy and then she starts snoring. It really is hilarious and wonderful.

The other night her litany words worked there way into telling me the following:

Lil bug: Momma you are almost the best
Me: I'm almost the best
Lil bug: Not quite momma but almost, I still love you though
Me: I love you too and you are the best to me
Lil bug: I'm the best, bester than my daddy
Me: Daddy is my best husband
Lil bug: Am I the best more than my brother?
Me: Your brother is my best son and you are my best daughter
Lil bug: Oh well you are almost the best

Now I did not worry about being almost the best as I knew I had been downgraded for the injustice I imposed earlier in the day. I said no to getting her more paints after I just finished letting her paint and told her I needed some time to sit and finish my tea. Well that no must have been devastating considering the meltdown she had and the ultimatum she had imposed "I won't stop crying until you get me more paint". I will give her credit she managed to pour out the tears for 30 minutes. It was a bad moment but she did manage to apologize later in the day saying I'm sorry I didn't stop crying but I was angry with you.

Aah the joys of being almost the best.

This blog does not receive enough attention. It is a good indicator about how I treat myself. I do not give myself enough time and care. For instance, this winter has been a crappy one health wise for me. I have had either a head cold or flu at least once a month starting in October. Two colds turned into strep throat with the second case requiring a stronger antibiotic one week after I finished the first round of antibiotics. This week to my joy and denial my monthly head cold became walking pneumonia. I feel okay other than achy shoulders, a wicked cough and lungs that feel like they are being squeezed in a very gentle but annoying way.

Today I'm grumpy and feeling sorry for myself. My body is telling me to slow down and smell the flowers. My head keeps spinning. I feel driven to run the treadmill of life because I want some form of control, some benefits. Well those benefits result in colds and a stupid self imposed schedule:
5:45am haul butt out of bed
7:00am board bus for the best half hour of my day...I read or knit and watch the sun rise or fill the sky
7:35am start work
4:00pm run to catch 4:06 bus (only to find bus full of university students who feel that their 10 minute ride must mean they have the limited number of seats). Note some days J is working at the university too...we can drive home together...I can breath
4:45pm I am home (if J not at university, he has picked up the kids cuz as usual I'm running late)
5:45pm food enters belly
6:00pm dishes (no dishwasher in our house...egad I live in the dark ages)
6:30pm play time with the kids.
8:00pm kids in bed but guilty mom still snuggles with her lil bug
8:30pm lunches and one household chore to keep up with things (Monday dust living room, Tuesday scrub kitchen floor and front hall, Wednesday laundry, Thursday garbage and dust bedroom, Friday no chores)
9:45pm flicking channels (nothing on as TV programs kind of suck lately and we don't have cable)
10:30pm bed and book
11:00pm or later sleep
hit repeat times 5 until Saturday where life is slightly more leisurely once you clean the bathrooms, do the laundry, go for groceries and vacuum.

Yet there is reason for optimism. Spring is here. My bike is ready to start being my "bus" to and from work (just have to get rid of my pneumonia first). The kids, J and I are loving the outdoors. Backyard is racked and holds promise (though in reality we need to overhaul it and plant some grass...but there is something rustic and natural about packed dirt and weeds). My monkey boy is turning 7 very soon, we are going to Fredericton NB pretty soon, and our annual trip to Alberta is booked.

I just need tell myself to step off the treadmill, stop making to do lists at 5am in the morning and find some flowers to smell (crocus' look out!).

While walking home from the care provider we passed a house with their Christmas light display on and this prompted the following two conversations which occurred at the same time:

Lil bug: How does Santa get into our house? Monkey Boy: Do reindeer really fly?

Me: I like to think that Santa's reindeer can fly.

Monkey: How do they fly? Are there people with metal poles pushing them up?

Me(slightly puzzled and distracted by the conversation with lil bug): Umm, I don't think there are poles. I'm sure they can really fly because of magic...what were you saying bug...

lil bug: I bet Santa will come down the chimney to get to our house but I hope he doesn't get all dirty

Me: I don't think he will to get dirty. He is magical.

lil bug: maybe, maybe we can ask him to clean the chimney when he visits so he doesn't get dirty and we can have a clean chimney...that's a good idea right

Monkey: yah that is a good idea we should leave him a note and some apples for the reindeer

Me (going back to the flying reindeer conversation as it dawned on me that metal poles and people pushing reindeer sounded a little odd): monkey, how do you think reindeer fly...with poles?

Monkey: maybe there are people who have metal poles attached to the reindeer and they push them up while running or they drive in their cars to go faster.

Me (seeing some weird dr. suess sculpture picture in my mind's eye): do you mean that the reindeer are wood or metal statutes?

Monkey: no, they are real but people hold them up...or maybe they have tiny wings that help them fly ... or no jet engines that come out of there bodies and send them flying

Me: wow those are great ideas. I'm not sure what really happens though. I think only Santa knows.

Monkey: when we write a letter to Santa this year I'm going to ask him how the reindeer fly and then he will write me back with the answer.

Me: good idea, can we go inside now and make supper.

Monkey and bug: YAH!

Annual trip to an apple orchard was a success. We went with some dear friends, picked lots of apples, and enjoyed this weekends' one day of sunshine in the countryside. We tried a different orchard this year. Although we like Mountain Orchards (in particular their apple cider donuts), we decided to try Kilmarnock Orchard. It is just outside the quaint village of Merrickville. It was a good orchard - clean, healthy trees, and equipped with a couple of kubotas pulling wagons. I missed the donuts and the larger selection of trees tall enough for ladders. However I would go again as the crowds were minimal, the location was great (right on the river, we even had to cross a swing bridge over the Rideau canal), and the apples are good (Bug ate a good portion of five).

We capped the day off at the local chip wagon for a family-sized container of fries. We also squeezed in a trip to the ice cream store in Merrickville. I had Indian Chai Latte, J had Key Lime Passionfruit, Monkey had vanilla with sprinkles and Bug ate a whole Crazy Kids (vanilla with oreo cookies, sprinkles, etc).

The only thing left to do is use the apples. I see apple crisp, apple pie, apple sauce, butternut squash and apple soup, apple muffins, etc in my near future. Good thing my bug was helping me this morning with the peeling and coring.

My monkey boy has started grade one. It was a grand day of firsts. First time on the school bus, first time at a proper school, first time taking a lunch, first recess, first school desk, first great day.

Our evening conversation (one of many):
Monkey Boy (MB): School wasn't like what I dreamed.
Me: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
MB: Good. It was better than I thought it would be.
Me: What did you like the best?
MB: Recess, I found my friends M (cool neighbour girl who is one grade higher) and R (neighbour boy and care provider's son who is also in grade one but a different class). We played together. I wasn't alone.
Me: Wow, was there anything else you liked?
MB: Everything. I'm so excited about going to school tomorrow.

Nonetheless I am one thrilled momma. I was worried that his anxieties would override his enjoyment, that he would feel out of his element, that he would spend the day trying to keep his fear pushed down under the surface. I didn't need to worry. He was nervous and jittery. Yet he had such great moments that made it a great day for him.

His kindergarten teacher (who taught him at his daycare last year) took the time to insure his new teacher understood his potential anxieties and to impart to her that Nevan is a great kid to teach. His previous teacher even came over to him to greet him, wish him luck and enjoy one of his hugs.

His confident well-spoken gal pal from next door sought him out before and during school. Their friendship might change as they age and become entrenched in other friendships but right now it enables him to find a place in the playground. They even spent their time jumping on the trampoline tonight talking about working on their playfort at school.

He liked having lunch and snack at school. He is already talking about the fun "play day" scheduled in the near future. He liked having a desk all to himself.

My monkey boy has started on his journey to knowledge and independance. He is truly excited. I love him. I love having a six year old boy.

Crisp air, cool temperature, hints of sunlight, happy kids ... rising early to watch the hot air balloons take flight was so worth it.

"You are the bestest mother ever momma" as declared by monkey boy today.

Might have something to do with taking him and his sister out of care early to do the following:
visit to new school prior to classes starting tuesday sept7
dairy queen treats
swim at local public pool
long tv night viewing
cookie dough
non-yelling mom!