It ain't so bad...really

This blog does not receive enough attention. It is a good indicator about how I treat myself. I do not give myself enough time and care. For instance, this winter has been a crappy one health wise for me. I have had either a head cold or flu at least once a month starting in October. Two colds turned into strep throat with the second case requiring a stronger antibiotic one week after I finished the first round of antibiotics. This week to my joy and denial my monthly head cold became walking pneumonia. I feel okay other than achy shoulders, a wicked cough and lungs that feel like they are being squeezed in a very gentle but annoying way.

Today I'm grumpy and feeling sorry for myself. My body is telling me to slow down and smell the flowers. My head keeps spinning. I feel driven to run the treadmill of life because I want some form of control, some benefits. Well those benefits result in colds and a stupid self imposed schedule:
5:45am haul butt out of bed
7:00am board bus for the best half hour of my day...I read or knit and watch the sun rise or fill the sky
7:35am start work
4:00pm run to catch 4:06 bus (only to find bus full of university students who feel that their 10 minute ride must mean they have the limited number of seats). Note some days J is working at the university too...we can drive home together...I can breath
4:45pm I am home (if J not at university, he has picked up the kids cuz as usual I'm running late)
5:45pm food enters belly
6:00pm dishes (no dishwasher in our house...egad I live in the dark ages)
6:30pm play time with the kids.
8:00pm kids in bed but guilty mom still snuggles with her lil bug
8:30pm lunches and one household chore to keep up with things (Monday dust living room, Tuesday scrub kitchen floor and front hall, Wednesday laundry, Thursday garbage and dust bedroom, Friday no chores)
9:45pm flicking channels (nothing on as TV programs kind of suck lately and we don't have cable)
10:30pm bed and book
11:00pm or later sleep
hit repeat times 5 until Saturday where life is slightly more leisurely once you clean the bathrooms, do the laundry, go for groceries and vacuum.

Yet there is reason for optimism. Spring is here. My bike is ready to start being my "bus" to and from work (just have to get rid of my pneumonia first). The kids, J and I are loving the outdoors. Backyard is racked and holds promise (though in reality we need to overhaul it and plant some grass...but there is something rustic and natural about packed dirt and weeds). My monkey boy is turning 7 very soon, we are going to Fredericton NB pretty soon, and our annual trip to Alberta is booked.

I just need tell myself to step off the treadmill, stop making to do lists at 5am in the morning and find some flowers to smell (crocus' look out!).