Mood swings

Birthdays seem to lay a mixed bag of emotions into my lap. I like celebrating other people's birthdays. I love celebrating monkey boy's and lil bug's birthdays. I am always pleased to have a birthday. Counting down my years in this life does not bother or perplex me. I am always flattered, thrilled and delighted to hear from family and friends.

I just always find myself a wee bit melancholy. Sometimes I chalk up my mood to winter weather or being far from family on my birthday but I don't think that is all of it. This year I find myself basking in sunshine and warmer temperatures along with the company of family nearby and yet I feel grumpy, irritable, and sad. Perhaps I allow myself too much time to reminisce and over-analyze my current state of affairs.

Don't get me wrong, I have a good life. I love my spouse, children, family and friends. My job (which is on hold for me until my return from this sabbatical) may not always be fulfilling but it satisfies my need to work and bring in some money. Yet I fret and think I desire other things (unnamed and unknown).

Thankfully I know this funk will eventually fade. Hopefully I will come to terms with some of my short-comings and build up some plans to inspire and motivate me. I usually do. I just hate meandering through the swamp of melancholy in order to find a sense of peace. I dislike how my mood effects others. Today, my birthday, I will remind myself to enjoy the sunshine rather than wallow in the muddy slush it creates.


Anonymous said...

Pam, you wacky old bird! Cheer up! Just remember to fart!


January 13, 2009 at 1:01 PM