Puttering through life

I swear that my 2 1/2 year old daughter is possessed at times. Generally, my lil bug is athletic, bright, funny and well-spoken though shy around adults. She has almost mastered using the toilet on her own. She loves horses and Thomas the train. She is a charming "big" girl who likes to give hugs and sweet kisses.
Unfortunately, the charm can be fleeting. She is a raving lunatic when she is tired, hungry or not getting her way. We try to insure the kid is well fed and rested. We even try to be one step ahead of her and offer her food, quiet times or distractions prior to the typical melt-down times. Yet what can you do when your stubborn, independent child REFUSES to sleep or eat or listen? What do you do when all rationale flies out the window and you are presented with a raging, indecisive, MAD child? Practical solutions, at best, are only temporarily accepted before being rejected with fierce unrelenting anger.

The best tantrums of late happen to arrive at the very start of a day. It is 6:30am or if we are lucky maybe the clock reads 6:50am. We are stirred awake by a wee voice calling out "I need momma". We both know that it is I who has to go into the room. If J even tries, our quiet home will be filled with piercing screams and cries intermingled with phrases that demand he goes away and that she needs momma. So I enter lil bug's room and am greeted with a request, I comply with a voice hushed and groggy with sleep. As I either gather up the desired blanket or move something else, anger enters her body. She no longer wants me to get her the blanket. She wants me to snuggle. No she doesn't want me to snuggle. I need to go away. No don't leave. Now I'm suppose to take all her blankets off the bed. But she is cold, put the blankets back on. She's hungry. She doesn't want to eat...and on it goes for at least 20-30 minutes. Needless to say I'm exhausted and my day has literally just begun.

I try to keep a lid on my temper. It is hard sometimes when a raving lunatic won't leave you alone or let you help her. There are times I wish I could take back the things I have said or quell the anger that shoots through my very being. I wish there was a sure fire way to work through her moments. I love the kid. I'm trying to raise her to be happy, conscientious of others, and capable of working through her frustration but some days I can't wait for my responsibility to end. I absolutely look forward to hearing her heavy snores echoing in the hallway outside her room. I dread our teenage years. I hope we survive.

November 7th, 2006. My darling daughter's birthday, my second birthing day. My lil bug was eight days late but once my labour started it flew by in a flurry. Thankfully the midwives arrived at my home 30 minutes before her arrival. I feel blessed to have delivered a healthy baby in the comfort of my home. Home birthing was a choice I made with determination, contentment and joy.


The first year of my girl's life was tough for me. We endured sleep problems, breastfeeding complications, sibling rivalry and post-partum depression. With the support of my spouse, family and friends plus a willingness to seek medical help, I struggled through the year and found special moments to revel in the development of my girl.


Today my lil bug is sweet, determined, dramatic and smart. She is energetic and always on the move. She is constantly surprising me with her new found knowledge and verbal communication. I love her enthusiasm for life. She loves books, puzzles, animals, and vehicles. She is fascinated by fire engines. When looking at a book of vehicles, she commented "I grow up be fire driver."

My girl can negotiate too. She is constantly countering my 2 minutes with "no...five more minutes." She looks up to her brother and imitates him in many ways but also knows how to push his buttons, stand her ground and be her own self. She likes to parrot us. I dropped some balsamic vinegar and hastily said 'oh crapper' which she kindly repeated for us (ad naseum).

She can test my patience as she has a very determined streak. She can work herself into a frenzy over an "injustice." Yet after the storm she likes to say "momma hug" and my heart melts and remembers the beauty of her soul.

She likes to make people laugh. For instance, one night when we were dining with my family, she sniffed and said "smell garbage." Well this caused all of us to just roar with laughter and to this day she likes to pull this phrase out to make us giggle. She finds it quite a hoot to flick her bedroom lights on and off when she wakes in the morning as she knows it will draw me from my bed so she can say "momma wake up now, shh daddy sleepin."

Despite the frustrations that come with parenting a two year old, I delight in the little person she is becoming.

Happy birthday my beautiful and strong girl!

My lil bug is fun, energetic and smart but her temper is almost too much to bear sometimes. Her frustration over not getting her way results in these fantastic emotional meltdowns. I will admit I am not as diligent or creative as I should be in handling these tantrums. Generally I keep her well-fed, well-rested, and active but my diversion techniques seem to always fall short. I attempt to let her exercise her independence by providing choice between limited options. Yet lil bug's verbal ability combined with her willpower means that she likes to refuse my choices and present another undesirable option. Sometimes I don't re-direct fast enough as I am occupied with her brother. Sometimes I do everything in my power and still a tantrum ensues. And boy do the meltdowns last long. For instance, supper last night meant having lil bug scream for 25 minutes and then she only ate five bites of rice before being excused from the table. I'm slowly learning that I need to let the temper episode take its course before I help her label her feelings and attempt to coerce her into appropriate behavior. Yet it is hard to remain patient and calm during the screaming and crying. I have resorted to removing her from the room just so I could regain my composure (though sometimes she thinks she wins as she doesn't have do to what I ask). I have even yelled at her and told her she was a bad girl. Lately I find that my sanity remains if I can just laugh at the absurdity of it all or capture it on camera. The camera is a wonderful tool that allows me to be just the observer and not a direct participant in the ordeal. Hopefully with time and consistency I can learn to work with these tantrums. Until then, who will "reign supreme" in the battle of wills? Stay tuned for the final verdict...someday in the very distant future.